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American fast food is a delicious, artery-clogging, fat producing hot mess. Hence, that is why it is always awesome, even in a foreign country. Even in Indonesia, home of some of the best fried chicken known to man, McDonalds, Pizza Hut and KFC rule supreme.

With all the delicious choices that Indonesian cuisine is known for, we wanted to do the American thing. Meaning, eat at(and only at) American fast food joints and instagram what we ate. Additionally, we didn’t feel that our blood pressure was high enough, so what better way to rectify that than by doing our own fast-food-breakfast-food-crawl in Jakarta, Indonesia.

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McDonald’s Guava McFlurry

Soft serve vanilla ice cream mixed with bits of (artificial) pink guava and guava syrup. Tastes like ice cream mixed with Kern’s Guava Nectar with bits of jello. Verdict: Delicious.

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KFC’s Chicken Porridge

Taiwanese style rice porridge topped off with dried onions and the meat from spicy hot wings.  Not expecting to eat fried chicken this early in the morning, but I guess that’s what the Indonesians like. The fried chicken definitely adds a spicy Indonesian kick to the porridge. Tastes spectacular, but not sure how I feel getting my stomach(and toilet) ripped apart this early in the morning from spicy foods. If this was eaten at 12pm instead of 6am, my stomach(and hotel maid) might have appreciated it more. Verdict: Spicy Goodness.

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McDonald’s Chicken Egg McMuffin(with cheese)

Okay, why isn’t this item available in the US? Our editor, Andy Blake quickly declared this breakfast item – glorious. It is as if angels worked the friers and created this amazing sandwich.  Bits of fried egg meld nicely with the fried chicken patty creating absolute breakfast bliss. Verdict: I would sell my best cow for this sandwich.

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KFC’s Riser aka a Breakfast Burrito

The KFC Riser is what we Americans call a breakfast burrito. Wrapped in a tortilla shell, fried chicken adorns the innards of this item and is topped off with good ole American cheese. Leave it to the Indonesians to figure out how to eat fried foods in the morning and still stay skinny.  While the Riser was pretty good, it had the distinct taste of movie theatre popcorn butter. It is one of those rare instances where the food looks like turd and also tastes like turd. Usually I’m pleasantly surprised. But not so in this case. You are better off licking the plastic trays at Burger King. Verdict: Pass

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McDonald’s Fried Chicken with Rice

Pretty elementary breakfast item, which was two pieces of McDonald’s fried chicken served with a side of white rice. The overall experience was somewhat bland. Maybe they could have thrown on flaming hot Cheetos on it to liven it up. Verdict: Not bad. Not great.